“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence,” no lies indeed. Confidence is a subjective concept. It varies from person to person. A little kid’s definition of confidence may be having the courage to ask their friend for that candy, while a student’s could be going up in class and doing that math question on the whiteboard, for an adult it may be doing a job interview. In this post, I’m going to be talking about my experience with confidence and how I strive to be my most confident self.
I believe confidence is something that has already been instilled within us, it’s a part of us, however, it can be shunned and blocked, due to numerous reasons. Being confident isn’t hard, finding it within is.
My Encounter With Confidence:
Confidence again comes in numerous aspects. In my experience, I have always been very comfortable being on stage, however, I have always been scared to talk to new people, or speak up for myself. I was basically shy to communicate but somehow never had a problem with performing on stage.
I wouldn’t call myself a completely confident person yet. I don’t think to be confident or fearless means you don’t fear anything, it’s how you handle them and how don’t let them mess with your life. I have overcome quite a few fears of mine and become confident with them but I still have so many more to go!
Understanding Confidence:
All that set aside, what is confidence? If we were to put it in simple words, confidence refers to believing yourself and being comfortable with who you are, its how you deal with uncomfortable situations maturely. Someone once said, “Confidence is not “They will like me,” Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t.” That quote sums it all up.
Coming to the title of this post, why is confidence everything. Confidence helps you feel ready for situations. Humans have an instinct of following a figure that is confident. If you appear to be confident you are immediately stronger which helps obviously develop a good impression. But the major purpose of being confident is not for others but for yourself, for your character and achievements. Most importantly, confidence helps you keep going. If you fail, you will have the nerve to try again. People who lack confidence, however, find it hard to explore new things and try again.
Confidence again as I said earlier depends from person to person. Some people have a much more natural hold on it while others don’t. However, that doesn’t mean you cannot work on it. You can act on it and develop it. It is commonly said that ‘Confidence is like a muscle,’ which is absolutely true. You need to build it up over time, and once you have you are much stronger.
Developing Confidence:
The primary way I developed confidence was being pushed to do things, I was shy to do and not confident in. I was required to do those activities to a point where I had no choice but to do them. Once, I managed to do them I got over that fear. For example, I was forced to speak up to a bully, which initially seemed like the heftiest task ever, but once I did, I was surprised to see how easily it was done. These are some practices you could make use of to be more confident:
- Going for it
As I said before, sometimes it’s just best to do it, without worrying too much. Don’t focus on the final result, focus on the process as you do it. Remember, it’s better to do it now because someday you’re going to have to do it anyway. This is how I developed my confidence to what it is now.
- Building a positive mind frame
Think positively. If your brain tells you, “I can’t”, tell it, “I can.” Instead of focusing on the things you can’t do or fail to do, focus on the incredible things you have achieved. Before doing a task, instead of thinking of what could go wrong, revise what you are going to do, and think about the wonderful ways it could go right.
- Challenge Yourself
Let yourself out of your comfort zone. You don’t need to force yourself to do this. Take it very little by little, don’t take a massive leap. Try something you wouldn’t usually do. These its and bits significantly improve your confidence levels.
- Imagine yourself doing the task
Sometimes just visualising yourself doing the task helps loads. Revise how you are going to do it, every single detail. Imagine all the right ways everything could go and how much happiness the result will give you.
- Know that its going to take time
Confidence isn’t something that can be developed over the span of a day. It takes time. Be patient with yourself. Don’t get too frustrated, it’s going to take its own sweet time, but the output will be fruitful.
There is no specific way to develop confidence, it’s all about knowing your limits and then working on them to take them up to the sky. Know yourself, believe in yourself and work on yourself!